Citizen #997528246

Dad came from a lot of pain.
Most pain I cannot imagine.
It’s evident.
In the time he spent.
Not there.
…..where?
In the hospital bed.

An iron rod.
Lay on the coal.
It turns red.
I cannot touch.
And drag accross.
The skin.
A loss.
Now a novel to the face.

If only he could turn the page.

a—->b

I haven’t had the want to write much lately, yet it’s a form of catharsis I probably have somewhat taken away from myself as a form of laziness, which is just silly. It’s these particular times in life where writing thoughts is probably the right thing to do for myself as I hit continuous brick walls of frustration due to impatience and constantly analysing my entire upbringing and life until now and comparing where I am at now to the typical around me.

Taking myself seriously is one thing i’m trying to learn, for as long as I can remember I have believed that I was someone else, I have had parts of me negatively critiqed for so long that it became who I am and now i’m beginning to have a grasp that everyone who has ever made me believe what I was are actually wrong. Though I know I have always shown aspects of me truly, I have always kept it locked away because it wasn’t accepted and as i’m starting to bring out the inner me, it causes a lot of conflict internally due to it being such a radical change, which means that I am feeling confusion, distrust and a lack of taking myself serously.

It’s these steps in life I know a lot of us have to take in order to understand ourselves, i’m taking a long time to do it and see myself falling behind in the climbing ladder of life, yet I know that the ladder i’m looking at is only one that is created for us to climb and i’m spending too much time standing at the base, wanting to go up because I feel I should. Yet there’s another ladder, standing right next to it, it’s longer, older and I can’t see where it ends, but it intrigues me and now i’m inbetween both, either being too scared, or thinking far too much about where each will take me.

I know there’s true happiness in life following what is only natural within you, yet it takes a lot of strength and will to do such and i’m honestly scared. I’ve made a lot of progress and I know i’ve answered a lot of questions for myself that I now need to nurture what needs to be, instead of what is thought to be best for me.

I never proof read these things, I don’t like to re-read these random bursts, once it’s out. it’s out.

Change is coming.

We’re a miserable, miserable human race.

Our days are spent working for an unreachable satisfaction.

And our nights are spent worrying and fearing about things that may not even happen.

We wake up to take a look at ourselves and feel the need to adjust it.

People no longer take time for one another, iPods, phones and distractions keep us from asking how our neighbour is.

We’re alone yet we don’t know it.

We’re depressed, but we don’t know it.
Because it’s all we know.
And what do we know?
I guess, my knowledge mostly extends to many vast experiences of exhaustion.
And i’ve exhausted it all.

I’m just like you too.

I would like a lady.

Lovely day.

It’s one of the days where you head to the video store, get a rad a lunch, coffee and then stroll back home and mung out this afternoon.

:{D

Tags: foxes iselia dogknights productions split screamo emo postrock posthardcore

Anonymous asked: Are you in the band Foxes? And even if you're not, as you seem to be a fan, at least from scrolling through your page, do they have any music up online it a facebook or anything? I've been seeing them around and would like to learn more :) Thanks!!

Hello, i am.
You’re best bet is to head to our fb page facebook.com/foxesinperth

we have all out links to all our music on the page.

She put on happiness like a loose dress
Over pain I’ll never know
“So the peace you had,” she says,
“I must confess, I’m glad to see it go.”
We’re two white roses lying frozen just outside his door
I’ve made you so happy and so sad,
But which should I be more sorry for?

Come kiss my face goodbye,
that space below my eye and above my cheek
Cause I’m faint and fading fast, I see a darkness
And I shall be released.
I’ll pass like a fever from this body,
And softly slip into his hands
I tried to love you and I failed,
But I have another plan.